Helen Redfern

A (very) short story

Imagine a person. She has a bit of a tummy from a pregnancy some seven months ago along with short hair (don’t look too close or you’ll see the grey) and black rimmed glasses. She must be pleased to see you as she’s waving.

But then. Wait a minute.

On closer inspection you find she isn’t waving. What is she doing?

You look where she is. In a house. With ironing, clutter, washing, nappies and recycling.

As you peer closer you do a double take. Surely those aren’t eyes? And a mouth too? It's opening...Good grief. It can’t be.

The house is turning into a monster.

She isn’t waving. She’s signalling for help. The house is about to eat the girl, whole.

Gulp.

Maternity Leave

I've been taking some maternity leave. I didn't intend to, in fact I thought I was getting back into the swing of writing again. I had a good routine going, my word count was increasing and I was developing my cake blog and back writing book reviews.

But then a short while ago I had a bad week.

I never expected the negative feelings to hit me with such rip roaring force. They crept up on me as I was walking to school. Waiting in the shadows, ready to pounce. Then, as I was making the return trip home, they hit me. Right smack in the stomach. Leaving me winded and anxious for days.

The feeling, I am glad to say, was only temporary and I'm now jolly happy. Or happy and jolly (caffeine helps). I'm still knackered as daughter is a little poorly and there are other things that are making life a little fraught at times, but my state of mind is fine.

So I'm not focusing on work and writing and instead I've told myself to do it when I feel like it. Obviously I feel like it today which is why I feel I can write this post. Who knows where it will lead to. I may start back on my novel, or LSJ course, or just stick to the blog. Or I may do nothing. See? No pressure.

Six Months - in a flash

Well it has been six months since I delivered my baby daughter. Six months!

Sometimes I get scared at how well I seem to be coping. I feel like I am holding it together but it will soon come crashing down around my ears. But another week goes by and I am still here - still managing. Yes, sometimes it's by the very tips of my fingers, especially when her gums are hurting and she's grumpy (like today). But most of the time she sleeps, eats her food, empties herself and smiles a lot.

I do feel, however, that we're getting to the stage where I'd like to do a bit more than feed her (she has rice and milk at regular intervals during the day), change her, clothe her and get her to sleep. She sleeps well at night which is wonderful (and believe me, I know how wonderful that is) but only sleeps for three half hour bursts during the day. That is a lot of time spent with the baby, and whilst I love her to bits, I'd quite like to do something else. To have some time on my own to do something. As to what that is. Well. I have no idea.

Well, actually, thinking about it, I do know really. I would like more of a routine when it comes to writing and working. At the moment that happens only in the evening, when I am absolutely shattered, and it's hard. I would love to carve out a two hour niche a few days a week in which I could write.

But. For now we're coping just fine.

Eight things...

I'm copying Keris, who has done this meme on her rather fabulous blog.

Eight things I like:

1. Wi-fi. It is still a novelty for me.
2. Stationery. I have just bought some gorgeous Rupert the Bear notecards.
3. Going to National Trust places. I love Waddesden Manor.
4. Proper coffee
5. Beaches. Being from the middle of England I still get excited when I can see the sea!
6. Walking.
7. Baking. It soothes me.
8. Body step and Body Combat classes. Sadly don’t go any more as not member of gym. Number six is just a good though as can walk past a Costa.

Eight things I did yesterday:

1. Made ginger and all-bran cookies
2. Worked out how to put adverts on my cake blog. (It has taken me a while.)
3. Went to a children’s book coffee afternoon thing
4. Drank coffee.
5. Changed nappies and cleaned up baby sick.
6. Put a load of washing on and forgot to hang it out.
7. Cuddled baby.
8. Played Mario Karts on the wii with husband and son. And won. Naturally

Eight things I wish I could do:

1. Travel without worrying
2. Write without worrying (and cringing)
3. Basically to live my life without worrying
4. Keep a tidy house
5. Fly
6. Run for long distances (or rather run. Full stop). (I am working up to it though)
7. Be more organised.
8. Make small talk.

Eight things I don't like:

1. Snails eating my plants and cats emptying themselves in my garden (I’ve just been outside)
2. My DVD player has no remote
3. Being tired. I want to do so much.
4. Instructions for techno things. My brain can’t cope. (see no. 2 of things I did yesterday).
5. Bad customer service.
6. Worrying.
7. Having items on my ‘to do list’ for too long. Stresses me out (see previous).
8. Stubbing my toe (yup, just done it on daughter’s high chair)

Eight things I look forward to:

1. My first coffee of the day (addicted? Me?)
2. The children being old enough to take them to Australia where I went on honeymoon and New Zealand where my friend lives
3. Christmas with my children
4. Getting my pre-pregnancy body back and fitting into my new trousers
5. Husband coming home (he told me to write that)
6. Being successful
7. Achieving my ambitions
8. Picking my son up from school.

Eight TV shows I watch:

1. Auf Wiedersehen, Pet
2. Lewis/Morse
3. Frost (last episode coming soon)
4. Miss Marple
5. Poirot (do you detect a theme here?)
6. Brothers & Sisters
7. Katie & Peter (though not as inclined to watch it now due to recent events)
8. The West Wing (over and over and over)

Up North

Being, as I am, from the East Midlands where we call each other 'duck' and call a bread roll a 'cob', I am quite used to being classed as a Northerner by Southerners. And I'm quite proud of that. However, I'm not a true Northerner in the proper sense of the word. I'm a Midlander. The furthest North, in England I think I've been is Scarborough, although we did drive through on our way to Scotland once.

When I was at University in Bristol some people didn't understand me. I remember ordering a bottle of Bud and taking ages for the lad behind the bar to get my meaning. 'Oh you mean a bottle of Baad,' he finally grasped. 'You foreign or from up North?'

My favourite TV programme of the moment is Auf Wiedersehen, Pet or Lewis, primarily because it stars Kevin Whately (yes, I know a weird crush but not as bad as someone I know) and Jimmy Nail is fab too (although I couldn't always understand him in the earlier episodes). (To be honest though, I could have a crush on anyone with a Geordie accent.)

As my husband is a Southerner, our trips in England have mainly centred towards the south coast or back to my home town. So I am delighted and so excited that we have booked our holiday up North. Proper North too. On the east coast. We will get to see castles (Hogwarts!), maybe even the Transporter Bridge. But it is the beaches I can't wait to see. Apparently it is the most exhilarating coast in the whole of England.

[photo taken from Visit Northumberland website]

Mother's Day Notebook

My husband knows me so well.

This is what my son 'bought' me for Mother's Day. A Smythson notebook with 'I Love My Mum' written on it. It's beautiful. So much so I don't really want to use it. Just look at it.

Recipe Review on Simply Bake

I've reviewed the recipe Pink Meringues with Raspberry Cream, taken from Rachel Allen's Bake. Find it here.

Restructuring

The time has come for me to restructure some of my writing projects. Sadly this means I will no longer be writing for Trashionista. I've worked there for over a year and enjoyed it tremendously, but it's time to move on.

Happily this writing about books will continue in an exciting project set up by former editor of Trashionista, Keris. Five Minutes Peace is a site which aims to recommend books for when you have just that. Five minutes. Joining Keris will be a few names you may recognise from Trashionista. Myself, Diane Shipley (another former editor) Sarah Painter and Camilla.

I have also begun writing about another passion of mine. Cakes and the simplicity of baking. It now has its very own site, called Simply Bake.

And I will use this blog to talk about...well anything else that interests me.